Goodbye
by lettuce write some fanfiction
Summary: You've had and are having bad and painful times in your life and you just can't take it anymore. So one night, you decide to end it all. But before you go, you wanted to give your last goodbye to your best friend. Dan (Dan Howell/ danisnotonfire) x Reader . Rated M for suicidal themes, depression, etc. Trigger warning? ONESHOT.


AN- So this is my first fanfic I've ever written! Awesome. Since this is the first, let me know if there's anything wrong you see. And constructive criticism is appreciated.

Basically [Y/N] means "your name", [E/C] means "eye colour" and so on.

Hope you enjoy it! Please review! Ok on to the story :)

* * *

"Hey..." you said, feeling uneasy.

"Hi there." replies Dan, your best friend since the third grade.

"I'm... doing it...tonight..." you managed to say to him.

"Oh my God, [Y/N], please don't!" he said cautiously as he started his car, feeling lucky that he wasn't too far away from you.

He knew what you were talking about. You had told him about three months ago that you were depressed, that you cut. Dan was the closest to you out of the people you knew, and you couldn't stand keeping a secret from him.

"I'm sorry, but I really can't take it anymore... I just wanted to call you and say goodbye... one last time." you choked out as a lump was forming in your throat.

"No, please! Just hold on a little longer, I know you can. I'm almost at your apartment building." he said, holding back tears.

Dammit! He knew where you would go, from the times you've talked to him about it.

"No, Dan. You know what I've been through, what I'm going through. This is just what's best for me." you say as you look over [city you live in], standing on the edge of the building.

"I know, but... I'll miss you. A lot. Do you really want to leave behind all those times we swung on the swings of the play ground in fourth grade, making fun of our classmates? Or when we pranked all the teachers in seventh grade?"

You smile remembering those happy memories when you were kids. How easy life was back then. You and him were both twenty-two already and you've been depressed for the last two years...

Before you could say anything in reply, Dan had burst through the door to the roof, breathing heavily from running up all the stairs. You instantly jump off the ledge to give him a tight embrace. You couldn't help it, he was your best friend and you wouldn't go your last moments of life without hugging him. He quickly returns it as he squeezing you in his arms.

"You had me so scared..." he managed out through tears flowing from his eyes, still hugging you tightly. "Please don't ever do this again, [Y/N]. I can't bare to loose you."

"I-I'm sorry, Dan, but when I came up here... B-before I called you... I took some p-pills..." you say shakily, holding up an empty pill bottle from your jacket pocket.

The look in his eyes are enough to show you how shattered he is, how destroyed he felt.

"[y-your name]... No... No! NO!" he yelled in pure sadness.

"You... you are the very best friend... anyone could ever have. I want to say thank you... for everything. And that I... love you..." you say tiredly as your eyelids are getting heavier and heavier.

You can hardly hear the sobs and hiccups coming from Dan, but also the talking. You think he was talking with someone maybe on the phone and you barely make out what he's saying.

"Please, my best friend is dying right in front of me! ... Get an ambulance and hurry please! ... We're at the top of the apartment complex between Burger King and the old, run down hair salon ... Yes ... Thank you..." That's all you hear before you drift into unconsciousness.

~time skip~

*beep* *beep* *beep*

You find that sound filling your ears as you try and open your eyes, squinting from the bright light of the room. You didn't know where you were or how you got there. With your eyes adjusting to the light, you can see that you're in a bed, you have tubes attached to your arms, there's some sort of mask on your face, and a rather large machine to the left of the bed.

I'm in a hospital. You had deduced from the sights you were seeing with fully adjusted eyes.

But how? And when? What the hell?

By then you had noticed the figure sitting in a chair to the right of your bed. Dark hair, beautiful brown eyes, that smile. It was Dan. His face lit up as he saw that you were awake, utter happiness filled in his heart.

"You're awake! Oh my God you're awake. Thank goodness, oh [Y/N] how I've missed you." he said while squeezing your hand and locked his gaze in your own eyes.

"Dan... What happened?" you say with your throat still very dry. You take off the mask so he can hear you better next time you speak.

"You had overdosed on pills... you went unconscious and never woke up. Oh my God I was so worried about you."

"How long has it been?"

He paused a little before responding.

"Five months."

"Five months?!" You say, jerking your head up which made it ache and throb, so you quickly and gently laid it back down on the pillow.

"Yeah, because of all the pills, you went into a coma..." A single tear fell from his eye from thinking back to when the ambulance rushed you to the hospital, nurses and doctors doing anything they could to help you gain conscious again.

"I'm so sorry, Dan. I'm so, so sorry." Your eyes beginning to tear up, too.

You look at him with the most apologetic face, feeling guilty of the sadness you had put him through.

"It's okay, I forgive you. I'm just glad you're awake again. I love you..." he said as he gave you a sweet, comforting smile while his cheeks turned a light pink.

The smile that melted your heart and gave you butterflies in your stomach. And with that, his soft lips were suddenly on yours, kissing you gently. You were surprised for a second before gladly returning the kiss, enjoying how loved it made you feel. You parted after a few more seconds, but your faces were still close.

"I love you, too." you told him as you looked deeply at his dark hazel eyes. He returned the gaze looking right into your [E/C] orbs.

You smiled at each other, but yours soon faded as you felt tired again, wanting to sleep, beginning to die. Dan had noticed and his smile- oh, his beautiful smile -had disappeared and turned into a worried expression.

"Dan... I'm getting... tired..."

The beeps from the machine had been slowing down becoming more distant from each other. Once it was *beep* *beep* *beep*. Now it had turned into

*beep*

*beep*

*beep*

You were dying. You displayed a small smirk on your face, happy that you had achieved what you wanted to do five months ago. But at the same time, your heart broke into a million pieces because you knew you were leaving Dan. Leaving him sad and alone. Devastated. You felt so guilty from knowing your giving him everlasting pain. He loves you and this is how you repay him. He told you he came everyday, bringing flowers, giving you kisses on your cheeks and forehead. You felt like you didn't deserve him.

"No, no come on now, I know you can stay awake. I know you'll live and you won't die." His voice cracked from the lump in his throat, about to cry.

You chuckle softly at the noise his voice made.

"I'm sorry, Dan, my love. But it's time for me to go now... For good. Thank you for being my best friend. The greatest best friend anyone could imagine. Hah, I don't deserve you." You say managing to laugh a little at that last part.

He looks at you with caring, teary eyes, pitying you.

"My dear [Y/N]... you can't go... please. I love you..." You can hear the sadness in his voice.

"I love you, too. Don't ever forget that. Goodbye, Dan. Goodbye, best friend." Your eyes drifted closed as you fell into an endless sleep, happy that those were your last words, that you got to say goodbye.

No more beeping from the machine, just a single sound held in the air, signaling your death.

Dan was in pieces. He felt his world was broken and it'll never be put back together again. He couldn't help but cry and cry and cry, sobbing uncontrollably, eyes closed tightly, tears streaming down his face, holding your lifeless hand. He had to let go from you so that doctors could try and revive you. He watched you with tear still filling his eyes and he knew you wouldn't be coming back. Doctors stopped, they couldn't get you breathing again.

"Time of death-3:26 pm."

Only one word was going through his mind.

"Goodbye."


End file.
